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Things I think about walking home from work…

Posted on February 27, 2006 | Filed Under Randomness 

It is so nice to be able to walk home IN THE SUN from work. Well, from the skytrain stop at least. When it gets a bit nicer out maybe Ill take some running shoes and actually walk all the way…It is really great to get some fresh air after being at work all day and I really like walking by myself for some reason. Maybe because I like to walk kinda slow and most people dont.

As I walked I thought about why I havent been writing much on here. In the last month or so I have thought of lots of stuff to say, but havent really solidified it in my brain enough to write out. Lately I am happy to see that lots of friends have been commenting and it appears more people read this than I realized. So, that does inspire me to get more of my thoughts out of my brain where they hide and out into the universe to share with all of you. But I think one of the things that has been stopping me is that when I come on here I am reminded of the absence of a friend who was one of first blogs that I read and got me interested…and maybe Ive just been procrastinating.
I take a long time to make decisions, as most of my friends know who keep asking me about when our wedding is. Its not always that I am procrastinating making the decision, I am just really slow at it. I like to think things through too much and have all the pros and cons clear in my head. I need time to have ideas float around in my brain and let them mature, like good wine. While spontaneity can be good sometimes, Im not really that good at it. I do really like having my short term life planned out- what Im doing today, what groceries to buy, what we are doing this weekend and next week. But when it comes to long term planning Im really bad at it.
During school I was one of the people who needed the pressure of writing the paper the night before in order to get it done. Trying to get it done a day ahead to proofread was a big challenge. So maybe I just need a sense of urgency in order to get big stuff done. And that is one thing holding me back from planning our wedding down to the last detail right now, because I know that Jeremy and I are going to be together forever already, and feel no urgency to have a ceremony whose main goal is to proclaim that to our friends and family…Im pretty sure they already know we’re sticking together Of course I want our wedding to be special and perfect, but I dont know what that will be yet.

Another area that is being affected by my slow decision making is my career, or lack of one. I would say right now I have a job, not a career. I have been lately had the little idea-let of going back to school. But not for a masters in anthropology, as I dont think the academic route is the right one for me. I am actually kind of enjoying my business-related job, in that, I think I could be really happy in a different office with a similar position…But the thought of going to business school full time does not sound very pleasant. I certainly dont miss school at all, but I know that to progress in any sort of business situation I would need some schoolin. And its not my idea of fun to quit my job and use our savings for school…so the option would be part time courses while working full time…I think I need to think about that option for a few more days, weeks, months, before it becomes a fully developed desire.

There was a lot more to this post while I was thinking it out in my head, but I cant remember it now…I do that all the time, writing letters in my head and then forgetting them. When someone makes me mad, I usually let it go, and then write them a nasty letter in my head later that night when Ive got it thought out. It means I usually dont think of a snappy comeback until later when it is useless, so my comebacks are usually lame like ” oh ya, well, so are you!”

~Laura

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