Honey, while you’re up, can you get me a big bowl of WTF?
Posted on May 17, 2006 | Filed Under Day to day, Family, Rants
Hey, it’s Jeremy… the guy who never posts on here 
So in general, my life is pretty good. If you read the title, don’t worry, i’ll get to that part in a bit. I’m feeling healthy — i’m enjoying weekly yoga classes and i should start biking again closer to June. I’ve had three extremely good days at work in a row — we’re releasing the tech-preview of the web-security product i’m working on and things are going exceedingly well. I also got a raise that i’m very happy with.
My juggling skills are improving since i’m practicing more often. I’m up to 30+ catches-without-dropping of 3-club juggling after just starting clubs two weeks ago. I’m heading to Bellingham with Luke and friends on Friday (I took Friday off). I’ve got some custom-made clubs on order that we’re going to pick up on the way down, which i’m very exited about. Even more exciting is that I’m going to be staying in a barn in the middle of a swamp with lots of other jugglers.
Unfortunately, I had a bit of a shock yesterday after coming home from a really good vanjug meeting and a nice visit afterwards with Luke and Jen. Hence the title.
First off, I found out that my Grandpa on my mom’s side has aparently had a stroke. I’m not sure how serious it is. I’m a bit estranged from that side of the family, so i feel nervous about phoning and trying to find out more. I wasn’t really close with my Grandpa, partially from competition with the 30-so cousins (i have 12 aunts/uncles on that side of the family), but mostly because my family was fairly insular. I’m more afraid that I’d end up having to talk to my mom…
Which brings us to the second shock. My youngest sister is only my half-sister. She found this out this week after finding out that my dad is O+ (the + means Rh+, the O is the blood group). My mother is also Rh+ (not sure of the blood group). My sister is Rh-. She found out when she had her daughter, who is Rh+ and needed blood transfusions after birth. It’s pretty much impossible to be Rh- with two Rh+ parents. Therefore, since we know for sure who the mother is, it’s extremely likely my dad is not my sister’s genetic father.
I’m upset that, once again, my mother has lied to my entire family. This is why i have no respect for my mother. Well, that and the stories of abuse from my childhood that i’ve no recollection of — I found out about a year ago from my Grandma on my dad’s side. To a certain extent, it’s not my mom’s fault; she’s Bi-polar with a few other mental illnesses. But, she’s hurt me and the rest of my family so much in the past 25 years it’s hard to forgive. I’m sorry if i sound bitter, but i think i’ve been through a lot in this respect.
This brings up some interesting thoughts. Namely who are my parents? What is my blood type? I don’t think i’ve even been told my blood type. I bear a very strong resemblance to my mother — hair, eyes, skin, build. I almost don’t want to know… If i’m not my dad’s genetic son, how would that change things? Would I even be able to figure out who my real father was if it turns out to be true? I hope i’m just being paranoid.
Either way, i am what i’ve become, no matter how that came about. I’m happy about where I am and who I’m with (my very significant other, my friends, and my co-workers). Who cares if i’m a literal bastard? It’s not like i’m nobility
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2 Responses to “Honey, while you’re up, can you get me a big bowl of WTF?”
Rough dude. You seem to be taking things well.
My thoughts have always been that family is determined not by blood, but by closeness. I definitely have friends that I consider more “family” then one of the 5 dozen or so first cousins I have. I have uncles and aunts that I wouldn’t recognize if I saw them.
I have a half-brother and a half-sister. I get along great with my brother (10 years my senior) because I lived with him a lot, but don’t really know my sister, who lived with her mom. Hell, I didn’t know her new last name until about 5 years after she got married, and when I heard my dad say he had a daughter named Amanda I was very confused (that’s her middle name).
Will this change anything? Only your perceptions, and only if you let it. If he’s your genetic father, then he’s always been. If he’s not, then he never was. Genetically, things are the same now as they’ve been for the last 25 years. The only thing that can change is how you act on the news, and luckily that’s something that’s entirely up to you
If you really want to know your blood type, come donate blood with me sometime
I know it’d be nice if we could choose our families, but you know, as frustrating and weird as they can be, we wouldn’t be the same people without them.